The Rewards of Friendship

Recently I’ve been doing some reconnecting with friends from my past. Maybe it’s an age thing when realisation dawns that you’re not invincible and neither are those you care about. Other times it's a health scare acting as a wake-up call forcing us to acknowledge people are missing from our life that matter. Whichever it is, the process of reconnecting isn’t always easy and at the very least we may feel quite daunted at the prospect. Some friends will have simply drifted away through a variety of events and circumstances, while there are always others we disconnected from because of an upset long forgotten.

While away for a weekend with one friend, I couldn’t believe my luck when I saw sitting across from us in the hotel restaurant a friend I hadn’t seen in years. It was probably near enough to fifteen years since we’d last met. We knew one another from a time when my second job was behind a bar in a nightclub. And yet within minutes of meeting and been introduced to her family for the first time we were chatting away comfortably with one another. It was just effortless. With another friend, the reconnecting was harder. I always knew how to contact her but had avoided it, dreading the response I might get if I called. We had been close friends for a long time, there for one another through the ups and downs of life including our respective relationship/marriage breakdowns. In some ways, I think we became dependent on one another, and expectations about our friendship were set so high we inevitably disappointed or failed one another. When I finally plucked up the courage and made the call, I was so relieved when the voice at the other end said, “I’m glad you called.” Equally, LinkedIn has also helped to reconnect with friends and I was delighted to find out only last week that a once very happy bachelor, very much the cosmopolitan man about town at one time, is now happily married “with a child and dog.”

You might be surprised to hear that according to research, friends are more important than family and have a direct impact on our longevity. Apparently, people with a network of good friends will outlive those with lesser friends by up to 22%. For me the reconnecting with old friends has meant so much to me. I’m really happy that it’s happened. It’s like getting to know someone all over again, because we’ve all changed in ways, but equally there is a foundation already there based on familiarity, care and a respect for one another.

And while the maintaining of friendships takes work, the rewards truly outweigh the effort.

"The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship."
 - Francis Bacon