Happiness Newsletter Feb 2010

Hello Again,



As we’ve recently celebrated St. Valentine’s Day I though this month I’d look at some of the ideas we have about a day that is dedicated to lovers the world over.

I hope you enjoy this months newsletter and as ever I am always interested in hearing your comments or thoughts so feel free to email me as I welcome all feedback.


Regards,

Carole

Website: http://www.typedynamics.ie/



What is it about St. Valentine’s Day that provokes so many of us to forensically scrutinise our lives and come away with a feeling of lack? And just to be clear the definition of lack is: To be deficient, missing, in need of something.

From the CSO figures for 2006 we know over 329,000 people are living solo in Ireland (477,000 are in family units) and yet many still feel a stigma attached to being alone. So not surprising then to hear that St. Valentine’s Day is noted for an increase in depression levels from kids to adults - evident by the many websites offering support and advice on how to cope around this day.

As with other years, I have noticed the different behaviours singletons adopt in the run up to St. Valentine’s Day. Some go undercover, removing themselves from the social scene until the dreaded day has passed. No outings to the pub and definitely no trips to the restaurants for fear of being heralded by all therein as the person without a date. Others take the more defiant route an example was a friend of mine who said jovially, “I’m buying roses for myself; I don’t need a man to do that for me.” As I listened, I thought 'No, of course you don’t but why does it sound like you need to prove it...and to whom are you trying to prove it to?

On Valentine’s Day, I was heading to my sister for lunch but on the way, I was running in and out of shops trying to find a card for my Niece. My sister had forgotten to buy one for her 8 year old and had called asking me to help because my Niece was sitting at home glumly wondering why she had not received a Valentine’s Day card. What had been a good intention on the part of my sister the previous year had already set in place a fledgling belief with her 8 year old that a card from an unknown was a sign of her personal worth.

And let’s not forget those in relationships either because contrary to what you might think they really don’t have it all that easy. For many men it is a ‘festival’ where they are set up to fail miserably because women have such high expectations about Valentine’s Day and all of it fed by romantic novels, Hollywood movies and a commercial industry worth millions.

Expectations...Expectations...Expectations.

In order to remove the expectations that have become associated with St. Valentine’s Day we really need to question our beliefs about the day. A starting point is disputing any thinking that says you are lacking in some way. To help you do this begin with a reassessment of the person you are, acknowledge your life, your past achievements, the challenges you’ve overcome and celebrate the characteristics and the traits that makes you uniquely different to everyone else.

So, rather than allow a Hallmark day to define you, instead remind yourself that you have a gift to give to others ........your very own uniqueness.

Take Care

Carole x

Happiness Newsletter Feb 2010 © Carole Smith / Type Dynamics