Guess what ....our natural state is that of happiness!
When I first heard this, frankly I was the skeptic (most probably not the only one) within the group who thought the very nice speaker just a little daft to believe this. I remember wanting to say, “So, my natural state is happiness is it? Well, you don’t know me then.” However, as I listened then and many other times since I began to understand what it was I was been gently told.
This month’s newsletter teases out the idea that happiness is in fact our natural way of being. For some it may seem too difficult an idea to embrace easily but perhaps the following might provoke some questions and some insights for you.
I hope you enjoy.
Carole
Apparently, we all come into the world in a state that is one of purity and happiness. During those heady early years, happiness continues for as long as our parents meet our needs for food, for warmth for human contact. At around the age of three a child begins to acquire a sense of being a separate individual. As their world expands, children learn less from what they hear and far more from what they see around them.
Also happening around this time is children are learning to pick up, even unconsciously, shifts in the mood swings of their parents. When they see a parent worry, they learn how to worry. If that worry is about money they learn money, or the lack of, equates with unhappiness. If they hear “You make me so angry/happy”, they learn quickly others are responsible for how we feel. Behaviours are also learned for example “If I’m quiet, my parents are pleased with me” teaches certain behaviours are unacceptable if I want others to be happy with me. Over time, children are conditioned to a way of thinking and behaving and any belief suggesting happiness is a natural state is eroded, seeping somewhere out into the ether, and replaced instead with one that says happiness depends on ‘you’ on ‘that’ and I am simply a passive participant in all of this.
I wonder have you ever been singing or humming to yourself in the bedroom and then bam! you stub your toe on the side of the bed? One minute you’re feeling happy the next you’re feeling pain and possibly even angry with yourself. Or, what about the driver who cuts in front of you, you’re hitting the horn and flashing lights, and for the remainder of the journey you’re so tense with anger that on arrival at your destination you vent that anger on the first person you meet. Sound familiar?
Ask yourself the following questions
Do I have a joyful, optimistic view of life or one that is governed by pessimism and defeatism?
When we know how we relate with the world around us we are better positioned to accept our way or choose to change it.
Finally, what was it my teacher was trying to have this skeptical adult hear and that I can share with you now? Quite simply it is that I am responsible for what I feel, that it is my decision even my choice to feel what I feel. When we accept this as truth, we, not someone or something else, become the director of our life. In turn, we hold the key to rediscovering that our core state is indeed one of happiness.
Take care ....and have a wonderful and happy Christmas time.
Carole
No comments:
Post a Comment